Adultery (originally posted 10/12/2008)

"Because I'm just human and I'm tempted and Christ set some almost impossible standards for us. The Bible says, "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Christ said, I tell you that anyone who looks on a woman with lust has in his heart already committed adultery. I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times.... This is something that God recognizes, that I will do and have done, and God forgives me for it. But that doesn't mean that I condemn someone who not only looks on a woman with lust but who leaves his wife and shacks up with somebody out of wedlock. Christ says, don't consider yourself better than someone else because one guy screws a whole bunch of women while the other guy is loyal to his wife. The guy who's loyal to his wife ought not to be condescending or proud because of the relative degree of sinfulness." - Jimmy Carter

One of my favorite pop-rock music trivia questions is to ask, "What is true of Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts that is not true of any of the Beatles, the original Beach Boys, or the Monkees?" The answer, of course, is that Watts is the only one who has not been divorced, and that, glaringly, is more of an exception than the norm in the rock world. Despite being a member of one of the rowdiest ever rock-and-roll bands, Charlie Watts will, this Tuesday, be celebrating his 44th wedding anniversary with his wife Shirley, and that deserves some recognition.

What is it about the music world that leads most in it to stray from their spouses? Are singers and musicians, in general, just more shallow, more superfluous than other people, or just not appreciative of the institution of marriage? Are they just more sexually-motivated? Less moral? Or, is the rock world just a source of such continual temptation that one must be an overwhelmingly strong-willed character to resist its lures? Who knows? Maybe having an extra-marital affair is just an all-too-human response to the pressures of fame and touring, a world that many dream to be in, but few can relate to. Or, maybe, living the life of a rock star automatically imposes a road block to the maturation process. Perhaps the answer is as simple as what Bill Clinton gave as his reason for having those sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky: "because I could." Having wealth and power and thousands and thousands of people telling you how wonderful you are can certainly warp your perspective.

Obviously, no one can pinpoint one single reason for all the stars who stray, but you can definitely appreciate famous people who set a fine example by staying committed to their spouses. Charlie Watts married Shirley Ann Shephard on October 14, 1964, and has stayed faithful ever since, despite constant offers from willing groupies on the road. During the Rolling Stones' legendary 1972 American tour, Watts told a journalist of his bouts with insomnia during that tour resulting from his wife, who stayed at home, not being in bed with him. (Nowadays, his wife frequently accompanies him on tour.) An oft-told story from that same tour of him enjoying Hugh Hefner's game room rather than mingling with the many babes during a Stones visit to Hef's Playboy Mansion captures the essence of this great drummer.

Charlie Watts is one of the greatest rock drummers of all-time, perhaps the greatest, and a direct refutation for those who suggest that one needs to be wild, off-kilter, or tortured to be a great artist. He is not a perfect human being, but a fine family man, and he and his wife deserve a Happy Anniversary for surviving the life of a rock star. So, the next time you enjoy a great Jagger vocal or a great Keith guitar riff, please make a point to enjoy the backbeat of a great drummer who's a credit to the world of music.