Random Thoughts- a Catharsis (originally posted 8/19/08)

Here are some random thoughts that I could not stretch out into a tangible blog:

I was watching late night television on a local station and, in my endless search for true love, was tempted to call one of those 1-900 Singles hotlines to talk to one of those hotties who said they wanted to talk to men just like me! However, I stopped when I saw on my TV screen that I "MUST BE 18"- sadly, I am 38, not 18....I guess I had a 365-day window-of-opportunity to call that phone number.

I've never understood the cliche I could care less, which is supposed to denote how uninterested you are in something, as in "I could care less about watching The Real World"; however, this seems non-definitive and allows room for someone to care even less. Instead, one should say "I COULDN'T care less," as in "I couldn't care less about professional athletes who told reporters around the time of the start of the invasion of Iraq that the game they just participated in really meant nothing in the grand scheme of things because there's a war going on." Well, there STILL is a war going on, soldiers are STILL dying, and, yet, I don't hear your "refreshing perspective" anymore. Why is that?

Here's a line I came up with that I've always wanted to use to describe a slut: "He/she's been in more motels than the Gideon Bible." Confused by the word "he" in the last sentence? Yes, Georgia, men can also be sluts.

I don't agree when people say that this or that person "does not have a sense-of-humor." EVERYBODY has a sense-of-humor; unfortunately, most peoples' sense-of-humor sucks....

It kills me when people who are on MySpace for "networking, friends" have their profiles set to private....

Another thing I get a kick out of are conservative talk-show hosts who feel compelled to play hip rock music when returning from a commercial break, as if trying to establish their own hip credentials. Who are they kiddin'?

One thing that always annoyed me more than anything on earth was the long-departed, unlamented game show the Weakest Link, which had the stupidest premise in the history of television- that morons could conspire to vote off the smartest player. The strongest link of the round should have always had immunity!

Well, that's all for now.

Confidential to Moseying in Maryland. Regarding Jimmy Carter and your thought that few people know the extent of who our 39th President really is and his love for humanity: he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize and United Nations Human Rights Award, so I'm going to take a leap-of-faith here and just assume that many people besides you are in on this salient fact. You can stop pretending to be thoughtful and deep, now.