Bad Drivers (originally posted 12/25/08)

In George Carlin's very funny 1997 book Braindroppings, the late, great comedian has a section titled "People Who Should Be Phased Out." Some of his thoughts are really funny. However, I feel that he missed a few: People who, in response to the question "Did you get a haircut?," say, "No, I got them all cut," should be phased out or, as John Cleese's Stockbroker character on Monty Python opined, "They should (be attacked), first with bombs and rockets to destroy their homes, and then when they run helpless into the street, mow them down with machine guns. And then, of course, release the vultures." Waiters and waitresses who say that they "will take care of me" and then proceed not to should also be phased out as above. Other people who should be phased out in an horrific manner are rude drivers. Of course, rude drivers include those who tailgate, who drive much too fast, who switch lanes frequently when on highways and blow by you as if they are trying to get to the checkered flag, and who blast horrible music at high decibel levels. These drivers are familiar to all, and most reasonable people would agree with me that these people's continued existence do not serve the common good. However, THESE ARE NOT THE DRIVERS I AM REFERRING TO. No, I am talking about drivers who do the following: 1) Drivers at a red light who wait far too long to resume driving once the light turns green, although there is no one in front of them. 2) Drivers in a turning lane at a red light who feel it is vitally important to keep a car's length distance between them and the car in front of them. While this is great for any parachuters who need an emergency landing spot, it is annoying for drivers behind the car who need to squeeze into the turning lane and cannot fit or drivers on an adjacent lane who cannot get by on their own lane because cars trying to get into the turning lane are blocking their path because of the inconsiderate a--hole on his cell phone already in the turning lane, oblivious to the logistical need to move up. 3) Drivers who block intersections, although traffic is backed up in front of them, just because their light has turned green. I also do not see the purpose for singers who lip-synch to their own songs to stick around, nor the airheads in the crowd who cheer them on. Speaking of annoying people who should be consigned to the scrap heap, I hate comedians who gratuitously curse left-and-right not for any artistic reason but just for the heck of it or to show that they are just as hip as you and I. It sounds SO FORCED!!! Keep in mind that I am not a prude- John Lennon's F-Bomb in Working Class Hero was perfect for that song, as was use of the word damn in Buffalo Springfield's Nowadays Clancy Can't Even Sing, and intelligent comedians such as the late George Carlin and Bill Maher use cursing in a natural manner that accentuates their presentation. If I wanted to hear cursing just for the hell, I mean, heck of it, I'd ask my significant other to buy me dinner.